In a crazy, drunken night Josh Hamilton trashed his hotel room, got an escort service, and threw theme party. It was a disgraceful display of lack of will power and poor character. In his room we found a bottle of Nyquil, which clearly had like, two teaspoons missing. He left his towels ALL over the floor. It was crazy.
Hamilton’s agent couldn’t be reached for comment, but he willingly responded to questions, “Uh, first of all I had some Nyquil because I wasn’t feeling well. Because I wasn’t feeling well I couldn’t get out of bed to pick up my towels. I had food delivered and a doctor stopped by to check on me. It wasn’t a crazy, theme party guys.”
Denial is an ugly thing, kids. He wouldn’t even apologize to the Rangers for his actions. He’s obviously gone off the deep end and I’m sure this will affect his career. It’s a tragic sight.
(Shown here doing Nyquil body shots with the “doctor” and “delivery boy”)
Manny Ramirez signed with the Oakland A’s over the weekend. He’s been looking for work since he pre-maturely retired last year after being discovered for having used PEDs with the LA Dodgers. Instead of serving a 50-game suspension he chose to retire, however apparently he’s changed his mind.
Now he has yet another important decision to make, with his new home in Oakland. Initial reports say that he’ll join the Crips because he “looks much better in red, but he’s still feeling out his options” says his agent. The president of the Bloods is offering him a sweet deal if he decides to go with them, “we tol’ him eef he come wit’ us we let heem hafe a lot more beetches, we pretect heem from fans wit’ bodygards an’ shit. We like Manny a lot, and eef he don’t join us we probably keel heem. So, he should tink about it.”